Because I (claim to) have a relationship with God, I should have all the answers. That’s an expectation my friends who aren’t in the same faith boat as I am say. (Everybody believes in something, even if it’s nothing). I also have Christ-following friends who take it since I have followed Christ for longer I should understand God better. They feel that because of this I should also have all the answers.
The truth is I’ve been through a period where I tried to answer every question in my bid to for them to understand God and my faith. Yes, I have been that arrogant. I mean, want to answer everything about God. About why He does things the way He does.
There are some things I have an understanding of. Also, there are a lot of things I still don’t understand. I’m that guy who claims to claims to have direct access to God so why don’t I have the answers to all of life’s challenges? Why can I not make a great case for God? How can I follow God and be such a bad rep?
I’ve followed Christ for years and I some of my Christ following friends and I still battle what some things mean. Some Christ-following communities disagree on certain things. I think there’s a special word for it: doctrine. What is taught… How it is taught… How this and that should be done…
Some have agreed to settle on agreeing on the ‘important things’… Some things do matter more than others?
On the other hand, if I completely understood God would He be God? If I could completely define and present Him wholly, to my friends would they choose to follow Him and purposes for their lives for Him?
It is difficult not having all the answers, especially when it comes to those that aren’t following Christ, like I claim to be. If you’re one of my friends reading this, I’m sorry I don’t have all the answers about God. About how life sometimes happens the way it does.
I’m sorry for misrepresenting God by fabricating His perspective. Sometimes I have told you something about how God must be or think, or why he does or did something the way he does / did. I’ve lied for the sake of wanting to give you answer. For the sake of me looking good. For the sake of making sure God wasn’t embarrassed or ridiculed.
I have questions but my belief in the God who made the entire universe, yet numbers the hairs on my head, is greater than the questions. I trust more in what I’ve come to know about Him. In how I know Him, than in the unanswered. I also know that it is His grace that connects me with a deeper purpose for my life and the lives of others.
The best I can do, from now on, is share what I know. When I don’t know I will tell you, “I don’t know”. Then, I’ll pray that the God, who can reveal Himself to you, reveals Himself to you. I also pray that for myself. Often.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:12)
[Photo Credit: BuzzFarmers]